Massage Therapy... =(

2.5 yr old / 30 lbs Mackenzie on my hips...

Oh!  How I miss holding my little baby!  But I won't be able to do so anymore.  See how I just sit Mackenzie on my right hip?  My spine is curved this way and as a result, I visited the massage therapist 3 times this week!  The pain started Sunday night, and continued Monday morning when I dropped Kaitlyn off at summer camp.  By the time I arrived at my parents' house after the drop off, I had much trouble walking already.  I went to the walk-in.  I didn't get much valuable information from the doctor, but fortunately, a patient (a mom with grown-up kids) had the same symptoms when she was younger, and she referred me to a massage therapist who also practices with medicinal herbs.  He helped me straighten my spine as best as he could on the first visit and applied herbal pads on my back.  Right after his consultation, I was able to walk comfortably again, albeit still experiencing soreness in my lower back.  So far, I've seen him 3 times and my back is much improved, but still not fit enough to lift slightly heavy things, or even bend freely as before.  I must be very careful with my posture, and even sleeping at night is a big hassle, as I try to find the perfect position and support my back with a folded towel.  I also bought some Korean heat pads on days when I don't have appointments with the massage therapist.  I hope the condition of my back will not interfere with the activities that Kenneth had planned for the girls on his week off starting tomorrow.

Funny thing is, now that my back is not the same as before, I don't feel sorry for myself, but rather sad that I will not be able to carry my little Mackenzie anymore.  Unlike Kaitlyn, whom did not enjoy being carried in cloth carriers, we had been using cloth carriers with Mackenzie and always had her close to us when she is not walking by herself.  I miss having her close to me even though her 30 lbs weight is quite unbearable for me.  Fortunately, I can still put her on my laps when I'm sitting down, but that is really so different from carrying her around and showing her things along the way.  I was just telling Kenneth that in the distant future, when the girls are all grown up and have left us to start their own families, I will still have my curved spine to remind me of the good times I've had carrying my little Mackenzie.  (teary eyed...)